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Cunnilingus techniques

Cunnilingus means using oral contact to stimulate a woman's clitoris, labia and vagina. It is a sexual practice in its own right and can bring a partner to orgasm without penetration. Another argument in its favour is its beneficial effect on the female body. Oral stimulation releases several hormones: prolactin, responsible for breast firmness; oxytocin, for the elasticity of the uterine muscles; and endorphins, the feel-good hormones.

What puts women off during cunnilingus?

Preparation matters as much as the act itself. Gentlemen, leave these habits behind:

  • Stubble: even a little can scratch sensitive mucous membranes and cause irritation. The first rule is to shave.
  • Talking at the wrong moment: constantly asking whether she likes it can disrupt the mood for both oral sex and sex more generally. Learn to read your partner's body language.
  • Too much force: distinguish between clumsy overenthusiasm and rough sex. The former is often unwelcome. And keep your teeth out of it.
  • Monotony: repeating the same back-and-forth tongue movement gets boring. Use your lips and fingers too, and feel free to bring in toys, dildos or lubes with different effects.

How to give great oral sex

Pay attention to the labia and, if she wants it, the vagina, but the clitoris remains the main focus. Most men do not even know where it is, which stops them from giving their partner the pleasure she deserves.

The clitoris is the small bump just below where the inner labia meet. It contains around 8,000 nerve endings. Sensitivity varies, but its head is the part most responsive to touch.

To give her as much pleasure as possible, remember:

  • Mix things up: while you are still learning the technique and getting to know her body, experiment. Use fingers, kisses, the tip and front of your tongue. Stroke her lower stomach and inner thighs, and her breasts if the position allows it.
  • Vary the sensation: depending on her preferences, alternate slow and fast movements, firm and soft contact, and different techniques while keeping an eye on her reactions.
  • Make her comfortable: sensual kisses, good foreplay and unhurried caresses help her relax and get into the mood. No secret technique will help if she feels tense.

Which positions work best?

Finding the right position matters. Every couple has favourites, but oral sex is different from intercourse. Consider these positions, listed in descending order of preference:

  • Lying on her back: put a pillow under her lower back to lift her pelvis and make access easier. Her legs can rest on your shoulders or open to the sides.
  • Knees and elbows: her flexibility matters here, as she needs to arch her back. You also need experience, because reaching the clitoris is more difficult.
  • 69: this familiar position suits more experienced partners who can focus on giving and receiving pleasure at the same time.
  • Facesitting: she sits on his face with her knees bent. It is a more unusual position with links to BDSM, putting the woman in control.

The soft-tongue technique

Start with your tongue relaxed, soft, very wet and flattened. Lick the labia slowly without touching the clitoris. Explore the groin and lick around the anus, moistening everything generously with saliva. Then return to the labia.

Brush the clitoris lightly from time to time before moving elsewhere.

Keep it very slow and drawn out. Even if she starts arching her back, moving towards you or asking you to speed up, hold back. After she asks, pause for 2ā€“3 seconds instead; it will excite her even more.

Before the final stage, take the longest pause, 5 seconds, then go for her like a hungry, aggressive animal.

If you have done everything right, a quick, powerful orgasm awaits her.

A double orgasm

Combine any form of clitoral stimulation with a finger or vibrator on the G-spot. To find it, insert a finger into the vagina up to the second knuckle, with the pad facing upwards. You will find a slightly textured area.

Make a gentle vibrating movement against it by quickly bending and straightening your finger.

The result is a mind-blowing orgasm, both vaginal and clitoral.

During orgasm

When she comes, try to stay in place and hold the clitoris between your lips. You will feel subtle vibrations and pulsing through the inner labia. This takes practice, as orgasms from cunnilingus are intense and her movements become hard to control.

After orgasm

Do not assume the experience is over once she has come. Depending on her mood, she may sink back in bliss. If so, leave her to enjoy it. Lie beside her and stroke her gently, avoiding the most sensitive erogenous areas, which may not feel pleasant immediately after orgasm. But she may also want to feel a penis inside her straight after a clitoral orgasm, so be ready to enter her.

More tips

  • Lick the clitoris while stimulating the vaginal entrance with a small bullet vibrator. Insert it only a little way to stimulate the area around the clitoris and inner labia. Keep her on the edge without letting her come, then insert your penis sharply just before orgasm. This may produce a deep uterine orgasm rather than a surface-level clitoral one.
  • Fingers can feel great during cunnilingus. Start with one, then gradually add 2ā€“3. At the height of arousal, use deep thrusting movements.
  • Combine cunnilingus with a vibrator.
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