Sex toys: a comprehensive guide
How to choose a sex toy
The world of sex toys can feel overwhelming at first. Start by deciding which area and type of stimulation interest you most, then choose a simple model. Rushing into an expensive, multifunctional device can mean wasting money. Begin with the basics. You will soon know what you want to explore next, and whether you want to at all.
User reviews can also help you build a clearer picture of a potential purchase.
If you want to try lots of different devices, start with inexpensive products. They will not last as long, but they can show you what each type does. Once you know what you like, choose a higher-quality model.
Materials
Non-porous materials such as silicone, glass and stainless steel are generally considered the best choices. Their structure stops bacteria from getting inside, making them easier to care for, safer and longer-lasting.
ABS plastic, thermoplastic elastomer (TPE) and thermoplastic rubber (TPR) are generally hypoallergenic and safe. They are porous, however, so they need more careful cleaning and use.
PVC, jelly and vinyl products pose the greatest concern, as they may contain chemicals harmful to the body, including phthalates.
Latex has drawbacks too. It can cause allergies, have an unpleasant smell and wear out relatively quickly.
Bringing toys into your relationship
First, talk to your partner about trying toys. Be tactful so they do not assume you are desperately unhappy with your sex life.
Try a device on your own before bringing it into a shared encounter. A disappointing first experience can put you off trying again for a long time.
Start gently and carefully. Feedback is particularly important at the beginning, while you work out what feels best.
If you already love toys and want to introduce them to a new partner, choose the moment thoughtfully. Surprising someone during your first sexual encounter together can be a lot when there are already so many new sensations. But leaving it too long can make it seem as though you have been hiding a shameful secret.
Precautions
- Read the instructions before use. This significantly reduces the chance of an unpleasant surprise.
- Follow good hygiene. Wash your hands before and after using toys, clean the toys themselves, preferably with antibacterial soap, and store them somewhere clean. Some devices need special cleaning, so remember rule one.
- Air-drying is best. If that is not possible, use a towel. Before putting a toy away, make sure every part and crevice is dry.
- Try to use condoms, especially with porous toys. Otherwise, you could end up with an infection.
- Do not use the same toy for anal and then immediately for vaginal penetration, or vice versa. There is a serious risk of infection, although condoms can address the problem.
- For silicone toys, use water-based lubricant. Other types can damage them. Test a new lube on your skin first to check that it does not cause an allergic reaction.
Types of sex toys
Now for the fun part. These categories are only a rough guide: many toys can be used by women, men or both partners together. For simplicity, we have divided them into three groups.
Sex toys for women
Dildos
A dildo imitates a penis, without vibration, pulsation or other added effects. It is designed for vaginal and anal stimulation, sometimes both at once. Depending on its shape, it can also stimulate the clitoris and G-spot.
Some look highly realistic; others look nothing like a penis but work just as well. Models may have a suction cup or handle, and double-ended versions can be used together.
Vibrators
A vibrator stimulates sensitive areas through vibration to bring you to orgasm. Modern models have different modes, can move or change shape, respond to sound and connect to a phone app.
Bullet vibrators
These small toys can be used alone, placed inside a dildo or attached to a butt plug, depending on the model.
Pulsators
A close relative of the vibrator, a pulsator produces pulsing movements that imitate a partner's motions.
Clitoral stimulators
Designed for external stimulation rather than deep penetration, these devices usually use vibration. A classic example is the butterfly, which attaches to the body with straps.
There are also toys that imitate oral sex.
And suction stimulators designed to recreate the sensations of oral caresses.
Butt plugs
A butt plug has two main functions: reducing the size of the vagina and providing anal stimulation. Men can use it for the latter too.
Sex toys for men
Masturbators
A bachelor's faithful companion. Different models imitate vaginal, oral or anal penetration and have different internal textures. Some look like realistic body parts; others take a more abstract approach.
Some models add vibration and suction to intensify the experience.
There are even stands that hold both a tablet and a masturbator, for anyone who likes combining one pleasure with another.
Sex dolls and robots
Sex robots take imitation, and price, to a different level. They move, blink, make sounds and even say a few words. The list of human-like features keeps growing. Experts do not rule out sex with robots becoming commonplace one day. For now, that remains a dream.
Dolls and robots for women exist too, but manufacturers currently focus more on men. That is why we have placed them in this section.
Cock rings
A cock ring strengthens and prolongs an erection. Many modern versions vibrate, providing pleasure for both partners. Some designs fit around both the penis and scrotum.
Penis sleeves
A sleeve serves two purposes: prolonging the erection and adding vaginal, and sometimes clitoral, stimulation through its textured surface.
Other sleeves are designed to increase penis size.
Prostate massagers
A prostate massager can be used alone, for extra stimulation during sex or even to support men's sexual health. Vibrating and non-vibrating models are available.
For use as a couple, a design that includes a cock ring is convenient.
Sex toys for both partners
Vibrators
Ordinary vibrators can be part of partnered play, but some are especially suited to it. For example, a design may stimulate the clitoris and G-spot while leaving room for penetration, with the vibration adding pleasure for the man too.
Vibrating eggs
These small devices are often marketed to women, but they can work for couples too, especially with a remote control. Use an egg for vaginal, clitoral or anal stimulation, or on the scrotum, penis and perineum: wherever your imagination takes you.
A smaller but equally interesting alternative is a vibrating finger attachment. It turns your own or your partner's fingers into a vibrator. Simple and ingenious.
Toys for couples
A paired vibrator consists of two devices joined by magnets. Separate them, and you have a vibrator for a man and one for a woman.
Manufacturers also cater to partners in different places. Some devices connect through the internet or Bluetooth. Each half of the set, a masturbator for him and a vibrator for her in the pictured example, transmits the way its user touches it to the other partner's toy. A hands-on version of cybersex.
Strap-ons
A dildo worn by one partner. Some designs use straps; others do not. With a strapless version, the active partner receives anal stimulation.
Another strapless design for anal penetration is held in place with cock rings.
Vacuum pumps
These devices work by drawing out air. They are not toys for couples in the usual sense, although you can experiment together, but models exist for both men and women.
Men's pumps are designed to enlarge the penis and restore erections. They can also be used for masturbation and foreplay.
Versions for women include breast, vaginal and clitoral pumps. The first two also exercise the muscles of the breasts and vagina.
Anal beads
A unisex anal toy consisting of a string of different-sized beads. A partner can control the depth of insertion.
Accessories and extras
They may not be toys in the strict sense, but they can still build desire and bring pleasure. Think BDSM accessories and gear, erotic outfits, edible body paints and underwear, massage oils, arousal creams, lubricants and more.
Whatever you have been imagining, there is a good chance a specialist shop already has it. All that is left is to take a look.